Already 100 and still smoking!
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Monday, June 21, 2010
More Funny Pick-Up Lines
Apart from being sexy, what do you do for a living?
Are you a parking ticket? You got fine written all over you.
Are you a tamale? 'Cause you're hot.
Baby did you fart, 'cause you blow me away!
Baby, if you were words on a page, you'd be what they call fine print.
Baby, you must be a broom, cause you just swept me off my feet.
Baby, you're so sweet, you put Hershey's outta business.
Did the sun come out or did you just smile at me?
Did you have Campbell's soup today? Because you're lookin' mmm... mmm... good!
Do you know karate? 'Cause your body is really kickin'.
Does Levi's pay you for wearing those and looking that good?
Don't walk into that building -- the sprinklers might go off!
Are you a parking ticket? You got fine written all over you.
Are you a tamale? 'Cause you're hot.
Baby did you fart, 'cause you blow me away!
Baby, if you were words on a page, you'd be what they call fine print.
Baby, you must be a broom, cause you just swept me off my feet.
Baby, you're so sweet, you put Hershey's outta business.
Did the sun come out or did you just smile at me?
Did you have Campbell's soup today? Because you're lookin' mmm... mmm... good!
Do you know karate? 'Cause your body is really kickin'.
Does Levi's pay you for wearing those and looking that good?
Don't walk into that building -- the sprinklers might go off!
Girls Night Out
Two women friends had gone out for a Girls Night Out, and had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the cocktails. Incredibly drunk and walking home, they suddenly realized they both needed to pee. They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a headstone or something. The first woman had nothing to wipe with so she took off her panties, used them, and threw them away. Her friend, however, was wearing an expensive underwear set and didn't want to ruin hers, but was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on a grave and proceeded to wipe herself with it. After finishing, they made their way home.
The next day, the first woman's husband phones the other husband and said, "These damn girls nights out have got to stop. My wife came home last night without her panties." "That's nothing," said the other. "Mine came back with a sympathy card stuck between the cheeks of her butt that said, 'From all of us at the Fire Station, we'll never forget you!'
The next day, the first woman's husband phones the other husband and said, "These damn girls nights out have got to stop. My wife came home last night without her panties." "That's nothing," said the other. "Mine came back with a sympathy card stuck between the cheeks of her butt that said, 'From all of us at the Fire Station, we'll never forget you!'
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
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